You always think that when you are older, you will know EVERYTHING, that you will be completely at ease with yourself, and that none of the issues you had growing up will exist.

Wrong.

I am thirty, and there are still things and people that can make me insecure at times. I still feel lost and scared and very unsure of the future. I still wonder what I will end up being “when I grow up”, even if, technically, I have been a legal adult for the past 9 years.

I still question my actions, debate whether or not my thoughts and opinions are appropriate, compare myself to my peers who seem more put together and general more “adult” than I am. Life is not perfect, as I thought it would be at this age, and many times, I am really STILL figuring it out.

The good thing is, I realized as I clock in the years, that:

1. You don’t need to have a time frame to know everything- you have your whole life-and guess what, even then, you still won’t know everything.

2. In anything you do, there will always be people better than you, and worse than you; prettier than you and not as physically good looking as you-you just need to accept this, and love yourself, no matter what. If you fuck up, pick yourself up, and keep on moving.

3. “Growing up” does not mean the same thing for everyone. I don’t need a white coat, a business suit and a 9-5 and overtime to know that I am doing ok. If you choose tattoos, summer dresses and scheduling your own time- that’s fine too. We are all different and all have different paths. I don’t remember where I read this but some wise person said ” It’s ok to disagree with other people’s paths, as long as you don’t think yours is the only path” (or something to that effect haha)

4. The “lost” feeling isn’t completely a bad thing. It just means I think, I wonder, I experiment, I feel, I believe, I change my mind, I discover, I want more. I am never satisfied because I always know there is something more. At the same time, I have also learned to chill. I’ve learned it’s ok to relax and zone out.

Peace.Love.Happiness. That’s all I need :)