Women who have mothers who have had breast cancer are already automatically more susceptible to the disease than people who are not in the direct line of fire, but it is also good to know that 50% of cancer cases are NOT hereditary.

I recently finished reading this book called “Pretty is what changes” by Jessica Queller, a woman who discovered she had the BRCA mutation gene, that, to make a long story short, meant that she had an 85-90% chance of developing breast cancer. She decided to take this test after her mother suffered through and died or ovarian cancer, after having gone through breast cancer prior to that.

In the book, she agonizes over whether or not to get a preventive mastectomy-or removal of her breasts-even if it is not definite that she will ever get cancer. How is a woman suppose to decide whether or not to get her breasts removed? Even if mine aren’t even that big, the thought of not having them seems weird, even wrong. But knowing I have a child and still want to do so many things with my life, would I do it anyway if the time ever came that I knew my predisposition to getting cancer was 90% sure? Would I be able to be brave enough to do it knowing that?

Aside from the obvious physical concerns, there are the emotional ones that come with it. Would I still feel like a woman? Would it be possible for me to still feel attractive? sexy? be intimate with anybody? Would I wanna get reconstructive plastic surgery after, or would I be ok being breast-less all my life? What about my partner, would he understand?

Reading the book brought back the days of my grandmother’s and mother’s bouts with cancer. Those were difficult times for everyone in our family. I got really emotional while I read some parts because I could identify with the emotions involved. I am also slightly more paranoid about getting cancer now. Is it just gonna strike someday when I least expect it? Am I going to be ready IF it does?

I don’t want to obsess but it is something I’ve been thinking about the past few days.