It’s only the 4th of January, and already i have skipped two days worth of my “I must write something every day” blogging. On the 2nd, I left Boracay and was in transit all day, then met up with the girls at night. Yesterday, I was recovering from Saturday night. Why I am explaining myself to myself is kinda retarded, but I guess it only means I feel guilty and really want to do this everyday. Let this be the real start of it then.

I recently reconnected with an old friend who I spent most of 2009 ignoring or avoiding (and it was probably the same for her towards me too) because of a lot of different layers of shit that just went down in the past-most of which I can’t even remember anymore. It was hard for me to approach the situation at first because of the lack of anything to say to her, or feeling like there was so much to say that I couldn’t. We finally had a long overdue talk right after Christmas and before the New Year and all I can say is-Thank God!

Although it is great to have new friends, the ones that knew you from way back will always have a special spot in your heart, and unless they do something really terrible, it is hard to stay angry or walk away even if your head keeps telling you to do so.

I hate being angry. It consumes me for awhile, and then it kind of settles itself into whatever space it can find in me and once in awhile makes an appearance. At the end of the day, it really isn’t worth it to be angry when things can be discussed and killed at the root. I think that’s what our problem was, we let it drag on and on until our reasons where no longer clear, but our negative feelings increased.

Side note: I realized this when I started dating my current boyfriend. When we argue, it lasts for a very short time because we sit down and talk-and more importantly, we listen to each other. My ex and I, aside from being on completely different mental pages in the first place, were always just trying to win or prove a point. At the end of the day, you want to make it work-whatever the nature of your relationship is. Having to be right all the time isn’t going to do that, and neither is not saying anything. Communication is key, but remember to be respectful.

So, what happens when a relationship turns sour, but both parties wish to somehow revive it again? First of all, it would be great to keep in mind that things will probably never go back to how it was before. I mean, even healthy relationships with no real problems evolve into something else as time goes by. What matters is that the essence of your relationship remains, and the desire to work things out and get to know each other once again is there. Keep an open mind and heart, and accept and embrace the now, instead of reliving or wishing for the past to come back.

Things work out the way they are meant to. Sometimes a relationship is meant to last forever, sometimes you just need each other for the moment. Other times, you just need a break to remember why it was so special in the first place.