March 2010
1 post
THE SOULSHINE PROJECT
What is it? The Soulshine Project is a blog that I started, with the help of a few friends. The plan is to make it somewhat like a diary of happiness. The challenge is to be able to come up with one good thing that happened to you on any given day. Something you did, or was done for you, or that you saw. It doesn’t have to be groundbreaking, it can be something small, but made you feel...
February 2010
2 posts
When I grow up...
You always think that when you are older, you will know EVERYTHING, that you will be completely at ease with yourself, and that none of the issues you had growing up will exist.
Wrong.
I am thirty, and there are still things and people that can make me insecure at times. I still feel lost and scared and very unsure of the future. I still wonder what I will end up being “when I grow...
Realization
I usually remember everything—-from ex-boyfriends’ birthdays, to what I was wearing on certain occasions. The other day though, I was having a conversation with my good friend about me and my current boyfriend. I had not seen her in awhile so we were catching up and she was asking me how we met and all of that.
As I was trying to give comparisons between my past, and him, I realized...
January 2010
17 posts
The Cancer Gene
Women who have mothers who have had breast cancer are already automatically more susceptible to the disease than people who are not in the direct line of fire, but it is also good to know that 50% of cancer cases are NOT hereditary.
I recently finished reading this book called “Pretty is what changes” by Jessica Queller, a woman who discovered she had the BRCA mutation gene, that, to...
Gratitude Entry # 1
The world is a better place because:
1. My daughter gives me a reason to live every single day.
2. People can change. People can forgive. I still believe that people are essentially good.
3. After everything I have been through in the romance arena, I am still capable of loving my partner now, wholly and completely, with no hesitations.
4. I am thirty and I feel like a teenager. My body may be...
Come Home.
I miss my boyfriend :(
And that is all I have to say right now.
My First Love
Today I brought Ananda to her first Gymnastics lesson.
As I watched her so giddy and excited to be there, I thought “This was probably how my mom felt when she was watching me.”
I absolutely LOVED gymnastics. It was my life for 11 years. That’s one third of my existence.
I decided to try out the equipment, just so I could see what effect they would have on me. Every time I...
The Ex Files
So, today I got a message in my Facebook inbox from someone whose existence I have almost forgotten about. The last time I had any contact with this person was almost a decade ago and he was someone I hate to admit I dated briefly. *Cringe*
So, he is asking me to friend him and although I am obviously over it, and I can honestly say I don’t care about him, I am confused whether or not to...
Wanderlust
Uh-oh. It’s happening again. Every so often, no matter where I’m at, I often feel the urge to pack up and leave. The 6 month mark since I arrived is fast approaching and I’m starting to feel the desire to dust off my luggage, look up possible locations to fly to (Who am I kidding, everyone knows I wanna be in New York) and just leave.
I’ve been traveling regularly since I...
Reality Check
1.Everything is interconnected.The gravity and length of my hangovers are directly proportional to my age. Incidentally, the amount of drinks my body can take is also directly proportional to my age and gravity and length of my hangovers. A childhood lesson from my dad makes sense after all!
2. Life is indeed unfair. I also realized that the amount of food I eat is not what makes me gain weight...
Expiration Dates
So, I’ve caught myself thinking about death quite a few times the past few months. No, I am not depressed and contemplating suicide but perhaps age has caught up with me slightly as it is becoming clearer and clearer that I will definitely not live forever.
Before this year, I was really, truly unaffected by the thought of death. My whole take on it was that, if it was my time, then it was...
Right now, all I can say is....
My friends are the dopeness. Period. No erase. Forever.
So I know I haven’t written in a few days. Will get to it this afternoon.
Period Mental Symptoms (PMS)
Today, the only thing that matters in the entire universe is food.
See, that’s what happens on the week before a girl’s period. We alternate between thinking about food, feeling sorry for ourselves and hating the people we love- in my case it is usually my boyfriend, my mother and my child.
Let’s talk food.
When you are a PMSing woman, not being able to eat exactly what you...
Holden Caulfield Moments
Although I am no longer seventeen, and teenage angst can no longer be blamed for the occasional moments of reason-less desire for rebellion or unfounded fears and anxiety, I still find myself, at 30, in this weird but very familiar place of unease. Nowadays though, I recognize how big the role of PMS actually is in this whole arrangement, and I am aware enough to think before I speak, and breathe...
Zen
I often feel envious of people who know how to zone out completely. I don’t know how. My mind runs even when I sleep and I more often than not, my dreams become extensions of what already takes over my thoughts the entire day.My overactive imagination is something I was born with, and have carried with me all these years. Most of the time, this is where all my most awesome ideas spring from,...
Guard Down
Guard Down
vul·ner·a·ble, adj.
1. a. Susceptible to physical or emotional injury.b. Susceptible to attack: “We are vulnerable both by water and land, without either fleet or army” (Alexander Hamilton).c. Open to censure or criticism; assailable.
Letting my guard down has never been an easy thing for me. The few times I have, I found myself lost, hurt, confused and left having to pick up the...
Control
It was the first day back at work for me today and I thought I would totally hate it. Surprisingly, I am welcoming the re-entry of schedules and brain cells into my life. Actually, it’s not that surprising, as my entire life I have been one of those people that never knew how to stay put or relax. Even on weekends or on holidays, I would be thinking about something I wanted to do for work,...
Once in a blue moon
On New Year’s Eve, I wrote down very specific wishes on a piece of paper and burned them under the full moon, which, incidentally was also a blue moon. I was told to burn the paper at 3:14 am, which is when the moon’s supposed powers were at its strongest.
Whether you believe that the planets and heavenly beings actually have any impact in your life or not, I think writing down wishes...
Sometimes you just gotta raise the white flag
It’s only the 4th of January, and already i have skipped two days worth of my “I must write something every day” blogging. On the 2nd, I left Boracay and was in transit all day, then met up with the girls at night. Yesterday, I was recovering from Saturday night. Why I am explaining myself to myself is kinda retarded, but I guess it only means I feel guilty and really want to do...
Brand New
So, I decided to start a new blog as one of my resolutions for 2010. I have long been complaining about not having enough time to write anything aside from work related stuff, so I figured-start a blog, write whatever-but make sure I write in it every single day. So pardon me if I sometimes sound like an idiot, a brat or a crazy person-I’m just gonna keep it real. I can’t think of...